Fictional Insurance Quote: The Death Star

Did you know that in 2016, 35,000 American residents with fanciful imaginations and too much time on their hands signed a petition asking the US government to secure funding to begin construction of its very own Death Star? Well, that’s a true story. The then government said no. Perhaps if the same request was made of the current administration, they might receive a different answer.

While declining the request, the then government did not give the proposal the short shrift it probably deserved. Instead, they compiled a response (it must have been a slow Friday afternoon in the White House) citing three reasons why the request was unfeasible. T first reason was the cost of building the Death Star, which was estimated at $850,000,000,000,000,000. The second reason was that, perhaps surprisingly, the US government is not in favour of destroying planets. The third was the potential insurance cost.

So, that got the intergalactic minds here at Tradex whirring: just how would you compile a Death Star insurance quote? Although we’ll never receive the Nobel Prize this type of work probably deserves, we still thought we’d give it a go…

Insuring the Death Star

There are a number of risks to consider when compiling an insurance quote for the Death Star. As well as the colossal construction risks, there’s also the fact that it’s constantly under attack from Rebels. You also have to consider the fact that one well-aimed shot at a ventilation shaft could bring complete destruction to all.

  • Vehicle insurance

    This part of the quote will probably be music to the ears of the Emperor as he could stand to save a few quid. As the Death Star is a military vehicle it won’t need insurance. That’s because the taxpayer owns the vehicle rather than the operator, so the taxpayer (let’s assume it’s those poor Wookies) will be responsible for picking up the bill if any damage is done. There’s also no need to worry about third party cover when the Death Star’s primary purpose is to blow other things up.    

  • Home insurance

    The good news for the Emperor ends there. As well as a workplace (we’ll deal with that in a minute) the Death Star is also semi-residential, with thousands of personnel calling the space station home. As it is the Death Star, or more specifically the Emperor, who owns those homes, the responsibility for buildings insurance would rest with him. This is likely to be costly given the sheer number of personnel.

  • Employer’s liability insurance    

    It is a legal requirement that any employer with one or more members of staff puts employer’s liability insurance in place. This is to cover employees that fall ill, are injured or even die at work. Now thankfully, the risk of death in most sectors is now extremely low, but the same can’t be said in the intergalactic domination sector. Unfortunately, the rate of injuries and fatalities is likely to be high, which could give rise to costly compensation claims. That means this element of the insurance cover will certainly cost a pretty penny.   

  • Location

    An insurer needs to know where a property/workplace/gargantuan killing machine is located to be able to ascertain the risks. Different locations have different exposure to risks like fire, theft, flood and complete and utter annihilation. The fact that the Death Star is constantly moving, and not parked in a garage overnight, will make this element of cover difficult to calculate.     

  • Previous insurance history

    Most insurers will look at previous insurance policies to confirm the loss history and ensure there has been continuous coverage in place. For the Death Star, this could be a painful part of the process given the destruction of the original Death Star and the thousands of Imperial Troops and Storm Troopers who have lost their lives over the years.

  • Admin fee

Drawing up such an extensive policy is likely to add a pretty penny to the cost. Given all these coverage considerations, it’s a good job the Emperor has the option to pay in monthly instalments.  

Get your Death Star cover from Tradex

At Tradex, we specialise in creating bespoke cover for unique risks, so whether you’re cruising around in a Death Star or an ice cream van, we can provide the unusual insurance cover for you.  Call 01708 678 400 for a direct quote today. 

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